We come from two different worlds. I don’t mean the difference of geographical boundaries but that of thoughts. Not that of language but that of feelings. We could lay it on the way we have grown up, seen the world or experienced our journeys till now.
They say opposites attract. But is it relegated only to the gender or to the other facets in life also? If you look at one’s friends circle, then one sees that we are friends with like minded people in some way or the other. Yes there are those odd balls in that circle too but then most of us have a basic common ground which binds us together.
You say my life revolves around formula 1, movies and music. I never thought of it that way but then when I sat to think about it once I realised that yes at times I do like to surround myself with inanimate comfort factors as they take my pain away when I am bleeding. They don’t have the power to hurt, though if Ferrari loses it depresses me undoubtedly. I find solace in them when I have been pushed to the brink. And the latter happens as I am enormously emotional.
I don’t believe in losing or winning when it comes to love. Love is something where one just gives without any riders. If it’s reciprocated then you have found it. But if it’s not in the same intensity as yours does that mean you ought to stop loving that person? You still go on, don’t you? Because that love is yours and is not dependant on any external factors.
I am deficient in a lot of ways. Perhaps because of this no holds barred mentality of mine I have left myself open to the spears. And that’s why there are walls I have put up around me. It would take time to let the guards down. I did let them down last time around and I got badly bruised. I don’t want to go through that pain yet once again. I know it’s not fair on you but then this is me.
Passionate about life and love. Gleeful at one moment and break into torrents of tears in the other. Prankster to the core yet seriously philosophical. A single digit year trapped in doubles. Excessively expecting. Fantastically depressing. Intensely eccentric.
Am I bearable?
3 comments:
yes you are still bearable, that is, if truth is bearable. you are bearable if honesty is bearable. you are bearable if failure is bearable. you are bearable if we all are bearable with our exceptions and pettiness!
Never ever live life on other peoples' terms--that's what I believe in. Because the moment you ask whether you are bearable or not, it gives the other person the right to decide whether your life is worth living or not.And that is not fair. I do understand the pains and trials that may have caused you to pen the lines which are immensely thought provoking. They are true to the core and as honest as one can be. Pains are a reality and I take no moral high ground in assessing you or anyone else--Little that I know you--I believe that you are an imensely gifted and honest human being.I want you to keep on writing these wonderful snippets which act like a mirror to me--showing me the true reflections of a myriad of emotions that I may feel but cant fathom at times.Thanks Lopa for putting across your thoughts so beautifully.
Rajneesh was once asked "What's the meaning of the word 'Mankind'?"
Pat replied Osho, "Mankind is basically two words, 'Mank' and 'Ind'. And till we don't figure out what these mean, we don't know what 'Mankind' stands for."
Ok, maybe that's being a bit frivolous or facetious. But the only thing that matters when the dust settles is 'Did I come out of that with my head held high?'
Privates die for a politician's war. Does that make them a pawn or a martyr?
Which is why love and its subsequent hurt are difficult to fathom. Are you a pawn in love or a martyr?
You are what love you give yourself.
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