at times we waste our precious time in talking sheer nothingness when we know what is actually transpiring. a mask we place on to hide the but obvious from the world at large and also from ourselves. a mental mating some might say. why are we shy of wanting to do what we want to and saying what we wish to. why the inhibitions?
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sometimes they are not inhibitions, they are little games we play to rediscover the pleasures of innocence that we once knew as little kids. remember those moments when you are hiding in an innocent game of hide and seek and your heart is racing, and your toes are curling and your bladder is filling up with a warm sensation of being found out: an euphoria we like to recreate, a mystery we like to cast so that this world which robs us of simple pleasure with its blatant banality can for a while go to hell, while we play the games! that's is why we mask and hide and play, because we seek...
so its the anticipation of the seeking is it?
isn't life about anticipation? are we not always seeking even when we are shunning? are we not always waiting for one glorious moment that will make everything meaningful?
yes we are waiting for that one moment but if so, why the deception? why cant we be true to ourselves?
you can't but be true to yourself, no matter what deception and diversions you create. but for that moment we must wait, because in waiting is the true test of our deserving!
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